Back to the primitive

I might have to get a tattoo on the back of my hand: In Australia, keep left. I never appreciated those signs lining some of the more touristy routes around Australia before, but after a few suspension testing "lane change tests" over islands when I have a slight memory lapse, I'm getting the hang of it all again. I wouldn't like to think how it would go if I had a smaller car but the cruiser happily eats the kerbs and then its game-on. The driving from the right side of the car is bizarre as well- I still find myself headbutting the window sometimes as I turn my head to reverse.

Straight off the plane, the first stop was to pick up my wheels from its secure storage: guarded by the watchful eye of sheep and horses, sheltered by a gum tree and protected by the theft deterrent that is drop bears throwing curve-ball gum nuts. I noticed there were a few more security features someone had installed while I was away as well: The outback Club-Lock (aka the Aussie spider): across the seats, on the roof rack, across the snorkel, antenna, spare wheels... but after a quick lookout for RSPCA members, my car's locals were homeless again and I was back on the road in my land-boat, being reminded of all those things I didn't fix before I went away. Most obvious is underneath the webs and dust, all the the reminders to resume the prosecution of that tosser that redecorated every panel on my car with his boot and screw driver in two rocks all those months ago...

I find it funny the things that I was hanging out to escape before I took off are the things I'm loving most now. Wrestling with gear changes while weaving lanes in peak hour traffic, travelling the same highway each day to work, seeing the "once a swimming pool, now a native wetlands" water feature in the backyard each morning, sleeping in the same bed for more than a week... I wish I could say the same for bills though. Its actually comforting to go back to some form of repetition and familiarity after so long of ad-hoc planning, a general lack of direction and no where to call "home".

With bills and the mortgage in mind, I had organised to get straight back into work the very next day after landing, so it was pretty much a 6 hour sleep and straight into it. I'm not sure if it was the 6 hours sleep over the past 40 hours, or my excitement in going to work for the first time in 4 months, but I managed to almost get lost on the way in. Maybe I was just getting a bit too into the sub woofer massage first thing in the morning, boosting past traffic.

The joys of the rest of the work week out of the way, I started the arduous task of seeing mates and getting back into the old routine. First night back I hit Stoffas and went to his new local- best thing ever! A pool table you could stand an elephant on, a selection of aussie draught beers, the mongrel mut at the front door you have to dodge around, a herd of smokers in flanno hanging round like flies out front, a couple of Harleys parked up in an otherwise empty car park the size of a football oval, and a "g'day" as you walk in from the chick behind the bar trying to get away from the pissed old fart trying to seduce her with beer breath and rambling stories. How Australia ever got a such a bogan stereotype is a mystery to me! I didnt care though- I was back with my bogans, not in some faux fronted theme bar with a lifesize cutout of crocodile dundee playing barman, but the real thing. I knew that I'd been away from the okker accents for WAY too long though when chatting to a bloke I swear he said "I came down to Perth today to marry my best mate" so as Im congratulating him he gives me a blank look.... no- turns out he said bury, not marry. Dig your way out of that hole benno. oh- bad pun.

Smart as I felt at the end of the weekend with my managing to dodge jet lag altogether by just keeping busy every single work night and every hour of the weekend with heading out, visiting mates, cranking BBQs, 4-wheeling and hitting the beach, I had to admit that I may have lost the game to jet lag when I picked up the summer flu. It was good taking a sick day Monday though- I turned on the PlayStation and promptly fell asleep on the couch the entire day. Good as the sleep was, I get the feeling it could have been better without the with Guns n Roses: Paradise City on repeat for 8 hours. As painful as it is now listening to that song when it comes on in pubs, I still know its better than if I had gone for the TV and been aurally assaulted by the endless barrage of kids singing christmas carols that spam the TV channels now- It would have been as nasty as being a slave in Santa's workshop.

After travelling around, I have learned that I really don't know that much about my own country compared to what other people throughout the world know of theirs, so I have started a new charge to get right into anything and everything local. Unfortunately for my liver, this has started with "Red can", aka Wife beater, aka red lead, aka "domestic violence in a can"- I think it says Emu Export on the box. I'm mystified why they call it export though, seeing as it doesn't exist outside of WA. I guess its up there with Fosters claiming their name is "Australian for beer". I reckon theres a local produce night in the pipeline- Dress up in Wife beaters and double pluggers and get out the kangaroo steaks and chokos, red can and cork hats.

London, Version 3

Err crap.
I guess this is the beginning of the end. Im currently moving at 940Km/h in -60 degrees weather over the Himalayas. Any idea what im in? Nope... its not a 1987 VL Commodore, or the equally capable 1986 XF Falcon on gas- Its the prohibition express: 10:10am from Heathrow to Bandar Seri Begawan, via Dubai, run by Royal Brunei. Comfortable as my in-cab entertainment system is, the enertainment is somewhat tame with the most offensive and action packed movie on here being Wall-e. I am still wonderiing what may have been of us if we arrived at heathrow any later. At the end of our 60 minute wait in the queue for the Royal brunei counter, the attendant told us we were lucky and they were closing the flight after us!

The past 2 nights we have spent in London, in the suburb of Ealing at a mate's place- Dan, who we met on the Morrocan Highlights tour waaay back. He offered his lounge as accommodation when we mentioned just how expensive UK hostels were, We only got into town about 8pm, but given the time difference and my 3 hours of sleep the night before I wasnt feeling to flash. When Dan suggested home delivery infront of the TV we were all hooked. We pretty mutch just bludged the rest of the night chatting, munching chinese takeaway and watching trashy UK TV- and a few nightcaps with Dan later we crashed out. We were blessed with a morning stampeding walrus free house for the first time in a while here so made the most of it- a little too well. What we thought was a healthy 11am sleepin turned out to be 2:30, so we were cutting it fine with hitting the shops for dinner's ingredients. I guess sightseeing had been ruled out for the day.

Staying in the Ealing Broadway area has been awesome and shown us a completely differentt side of London to what the city showed us. The amount of parkland here is crazy- alot of flats have their own courtyards, there are public parks all over the place and theres plenty of greenery. Shame about the constant drizzle and grey skies though! There was one really cool thing we came across here too: Our first outdoor skating rink! Outside of the Ealing traino there are a bunch of trees covered head to toe in christmas lights and between then is a small frozen lake that last night was covered in probably 50 skaters zooming around. We were on a mission though, and had no time to stop! We beelined straight to Tesco and stocked up on all the ingredients for the Moroccan Lamb and couscous followed by bread and butter pudding. Shame the shopping for food took so long- Just like the US where they are having sales and trampling and killing security gaurds in the rush, Poms are having the same 70-90% off sales but its a little more dignified. We clean missed out though, kicked out of shops as they were closing.

Back at the house, The tajine had finished its seasoning, and was ready for a work out. I cant apologise enough to Dan's housemates- I dont think they will get the spices smell out of the walls for a week or 3, but damn it went down well! Im kind of glad I didnt go in for buying the huge family sized tajine when he did because I would have had to lug the 3kg monstrosity around europe 2.5 months after, but Im not sure I will find any place that sells a fork for $5 in these western countries, let alone a huge terracotta oven! Yeah- the pic there is a stock photo. I'd have puta pic of my masterpiece in, but there wasnt one. The food dissapeared as soon as I said "Its done" and before the camera lens opened.

For your benefit, and to add some oriental feel to this page, Here is the recipe, of course, written in the language from which the recipe came. Its for chicken, but I did Lamb.. basically the same.

دجاجة وزن 2 كيلو مقطعة إلى أربع أجزاء
بصلة كبيرة مقطعة شرائح 2 حبة طماطم مقطعة دوائر فصين من الثوم غير مقطعة
نصف كوب زيت نصف كوب زيت الزيتون
- التوابل: ملح بهارات زنجبيل زعفران 2 كوب ماء
الطريقة:
- استخدمي الطاجين المغربي إذا توفر , و إذا لم يتوفر استخدمي أي أنية يمكن الأكل منها مباشرة .

- ضعي قطع الدجاج في الطاجين , اضيفي البصل و الثوم و نوعي الزيت البلدي و البهارات و الماء .

- ضعي الطاجين على النار لمدة ربع ساعة ثم اضيفي الطماطم المقطعة , عدلي البهارات حسب الذوق و اضيفي القليل من الماء عند الحاجة حتى ينضج الدجاج و الخضار .

- لا يجب أن يكون في الطاجين الكثير من المرق عند التقديم .

23 hours in 3 planes later my legs are just numb, I think we have been fed about 6 aircraft meals, I have watched about 8 kids movies, I smell about as fresh as the christmas ham you find in your fridge at easter time, my ears are shot and the jetlag is starting to set in. Last night... or a few hours ago because of date lines we have crossed, I thought I was trippinig out when the moon and some stars made up a smiley face in the sky. Its cool though- The national Brunei newspapers reported the same thing so I reckon Im still in good shape for heading into work tomorrow morning. Its kind of bizzarre that we have watched the sun rise, set, and are looking at stars and the moon in a black sky now all in the space of about 6 hours.