HVAR!

WOW- Royalty ain't got shit on me! Not with my automated wall-mounted massaging shower unit installed in my 4-star penthouse hotel room that me and Lynda Harangued anyways! As I write this, I am lounging on a king size bed, in front of a fat plasma screen TV screening some Sat-TV crap about Guang Dong Province's carbon emissions... wait up, channel 146 has family guy dubbed in German. Much better. When we were shown our room by the bloke we met on the bus from Split to Hvar, me and Lyn- both sporting yesterdays fashions in both style and smell, had to feign disinterest in the room we were shown- past the wood panelled lounge room in front of us was one double bed in a pristine room the size of a small house. As far as we were concerned, we could look past the bed sharing thing in a place like this! But, after we explained the family connection between us, the owner grunted in understanding, and led us up another 3 flights of stairs to the penthouse suite... with another king size double bed! oh... and in another bedroom the two king singles, along with the study room, toilet, bathroom... yep- for $100 AUD a night for both of us. Again, feigning disinterest I scammed a free "small breakfast" into the price, then free mini bar. As he was about to leave, I asked the owner if there were any places open nearby for dinner or at least a beer- As its out of tourist season now, the place is pretty dead! He said "Come downstairs" and disappeared.

When I got down to the basement of his- A 4-star restaurant at the base of his 4-star hotel, I was blown away by the quality of the place- it was like the Hilton, but everything here was brand new! Then, I got popped the question: "Do you like wine?" Well, I wasn't about to lie to the bloke, so I asked how much as he whipped out an 8-litre tub and filled a 1 litre carafe for me. "HAHAHA Don't worry!" he said- I'm not sure if he was referring to taking just my wallet or one of my kidneys- I guess I'll find out tomorrow. As I'm about to leave he also asks if I like Cheese- well, I'm not lactose intolerant by any stretch, so before I know it, i have a plate of wedges of half a wheel of pecorino, a small orchard of black olives and a basket of bread. Time to leave and its back off to any one of our satellite TVs in our suite to kick back and enjoy Hvar, Croatia for all it is from what we have seen so far: A backpacker's paradise full of friendly people, great food and wine and sweet views- And that's only in the first few hours! I love this place! I did take interest when the owner said he had a friend that had lived on the island and now moved to Australia- So I had to ask about Luci. Now the owner swears he knows someone from Luci's family that speaks great english and will try and track them down for me tomorrow! haha.