We rocked into the 'Dam on our plane from Venice at about 8pm, and got the metro train from the Schiphol airport to Amsterdam Centraal station, and trekked off in hope of finding a hostel from there. On the net, every decent hostel and hotel we looked into was either at capacity or at least couldnt take us for most of our stay there. After getting rough directions to a 40 EUR/night hotel (That turned out later to be at capacity) we got prices from a few hotels and hostels and finally settled on one fine Christian establishment, with a big impressive bar that featured one quirky trait: "NO ALCOHOL" the beer fonts were now used to hang fluffy dice, and the beer fridges had the night staff's lunches. for 20 EUR a night though, it was pretty cool, had internet and a communal area which was the main thing we were chasing. We checked in, dropped bags and suited up for a trek around town.
The place seems a bit odd with its naming- being late at night, we were looking for a coffee, but it turns out the coffee shops are just drug stores and What we actually needed was a cafe. Another few cafes and a pub later we found our wing-it walking tour led us in amongst a sea of red lamps and were in the middle of a red light district. Funny enough, we noticed the biggest range of 2-3 storeys of red light windows looked onto a church in the middle of the shops. By the end of the second pub, I was keen on heading to the far side of town to see a few sights and pubs, but Lynda had a need to get on the internet and cut me short at one last pub and to make it snappy. I remember we passed a sign that said "Heineken, babes and beers" about 100m back and suggested that. "FINE!" So we ducked into the place that was, as the last pub had been, about 90% blokes (drunk english punters singing and cheering, watching the european or UK soccer leagues) and a few girls hiding in the corners. After paying my $26 AUD our pint and middy, the chick behind the counter picks up a microphone and announces over the PA that one the lucky staff member who was celebrating their birthday would put on her strip show in 20 minutes on the bar we were sat at. As I looked around, I noticed the signs inside were different from the one outside- they all said "Teasers babes and beer" and I think we both thought the same thing after we realised we walked into a strip club. I reckon I gave Bob Hawke a run for his money afteer that- I dont think I have ever knocked back a beer so quick! As soon as Lyn knocked hers off we were back out the door and on our way back to the hostel.
After Lyn retired to facebook for the night I scoured town for some beers and after the guidance of the staff got the price down from $6 AUD a small can to $3 AUD for a pint of grolsch and stayed up till 4am drinking, smoking and playing pool with the two night shift blokes at the hostel. At some stage during both nights, a bloke who slept on a couch there (who may well have been a figment of my imagination) appeared around 4am, throwing out free samples of the Cannabis cup entrant from Brakeys coffee shop across town. I was in awe at how hard these night shift blokes worked as they drank free beers, smoked themselves retarded and lost to my infallible pool skills. I was pretty stoked we chose that hostel with everything it had- Until the morning that is...Our personal wakeup call at 10am didnt go down well on any of the 3 days we were there. You can hear the bloke stomping up the stair cases so steep you need a climbing harness, and like a maimed elephant bashing its way up he then opens the doors into our dorm with his fore head and bellows "YOU! YOU! ARE YOU STAYING TODAY! YOU MUST PAY!" This is then repeated until you get out of bed, and pay at the bar downstairs where you are told by a chick its not neccasary and you can pay for the next night at the end of your stay. Repeat the next morning. Oh and to top it off, on the second day the water was shutoff to the entire hostel while lyn had a new floor installed in her suite, which made for fun for the person washing their hair in the shower, and the day after the lack off water saw some brown monstrosities trying to slide their way out of the toilet bowl. nice.
That day we met our new addition to our room: a mexican bloke, Javier. We toured around town together, jumping onto a free tour of the Dam with new Europ tours, followed by a brief stop at the Anne Frank museum then an arctic trek across to the national Reichs Museum. Following the somewhere near 4pm sunset we set off on another extremity numbing trek across the city to Waterloo markets, stopping on the way at Rembrandt plaza, a coffee shop for a pick me up (no- I mean coffee- it was a starbucks), and the heineken brewery to laugh at their prices. Eg: $50 AUD for the free cooler bag that comes with their little 5L kegs, and $90 T-shirts that are free with 6-packs. haha- Dutch are comedians. So were the ones at the Waterloo markets with their closing time 30 mins before we got there. Lyn had arranged to meet Guilliaume at the traino at 20:30 so we headed back to the hostel, then against my recommendations she set off to go find him. I wasnt that keen on her soloing it coz I almost got into 2 brawls with roving packs of Liverpool supporters the night before when picking up beers from the local 24-hour crossiant bakery.
That night, our crew growing by 2: Guilliaume and Juan, another solo traveller from Guatemala staying in our hostel we set off to find some tucker- namely the stuff we had "Free Cocktail" and "10% off" vouchers we were hoarding. Imagine our surprise when the chick said no to us presenting 4x "Free Cocktail" vouchers. Instead of just fobbing her off, we played them off against the steak house spruiker next door and got some freebies thrown in. Once we sat down and saw the $40 for a steak, no 15% discount was getting us 5 travellers to eat there. We stood around like geese out front of the restaurant for a bit until Lyn took charge and led us marching past indian, chinese and on the road out of town. She surrendered the lead when we hit a cold part of town, blocked by canals and with only cafes- which sell coffee, but not food.? I started heading back into town when I stubled across an alley way with some thumping bass- the first time I'd heard it that night and we wandered in like we held native title over the place. Until wefound the bass was coming from someone's private courtyard... or we hesitated anyways. Inside the courtyard was a group of maybe 200 people, all our age smashing down drinks and jumping around to bad 90's tracks. We did the only thing we could- strutted inside, jumped around like them and made a beeline for the bar.Somehow we had managed to crash the weekly Anthropology and Sociology university party, and this one was a big one for no apparent reason. There were a few things that just topped the party off: it was the cheapest place to buy drinks in Amsterdam (1 EUR stubbies, 1.50 EUR cups of wine!) as well as the fact that everyone spoke english. Not just the queens english, but also the slang degenerate form we speak today so there was no need for the slow and pronunciated english that strangely seems to be so tiring for us. Awesome. Come the windup of the bash (They were drunk out of the mountain of wine bottles and pallets of beer) we scored a free feed from their bain marie of curry and rice, and a top chick for the anthropology faculty who needed to be up and at an exam in a few hours did the leg work for us asking her mates where the next location was and actually walked us across town to show us the entry of the hole-in-wall uni bar all her mates were off to. I asked her why- especially seeing as her place was the opposite direction, and it was raining lightly- she said "people in the city are mean and I dont want you to think all Dutch are like that" wow! I definately wasnt cashing in karma on that one- the last time I tried to be nice to a bloke in Perth like that (A very dark skinned african) I offered to take him with us 4-wheeling in whiteman park the next day and he took off offended like no other. I dint even notice the name of the park until then! After socialising with half the university there and some more rounds in the pub, we headed back to our hostel and a few more rounds of pool and beers with the staff there it was time for another round of wake up calls from our friendly stair stomping buffalo, the manager.
Next day we woke worn and weary after all those drinks and trekked slowly to the zoo, stopping at a few parks etc on the way. By the time we got there it was 2 hours from closing and the $40 AUD entry scared us off so I suggested NEMO the science centre and we headed there. 5x student tickets later, we were in and blowing bubbles the size of people, having dam building comps and just generally sciencing as kids do. By the time we got pushed out of there, we went on the hunt for a meal, and started wondering about Juan's mental state when he became an enraged gorilla and started bashing on the glass of a body mod and piercing shop. Turns out inside the shop was 3 of his good mates from Guatemala who he had no idea were over here, so we all lobbed around from pub to cafe in our new group of random roustabouts lost in the 'Dam.
At an Irish pub, we got stuck into a few heinekens as well as some pub grub and after some chatting to our new members, we found out one of Juan's mates had been living here for 3 months now and knew all the cheap local haunts. After finishing up, we headed to a swanky student bar with its 3rd cheapest beers in town until about 1am then started on to a "better cheaper place" which turned out to be the student bar down a random back alley again! Hence the "Another of the Usual, Perth Boy?" when I walked in the door. Inside there was a total of 3 people- A couple of girls we all tried our luck with at the last bar, and the bar tenders. Same as the night before though, within 30 minutes, the place was heaving to some awesome tracks. Having lost Lyn and Guilliaume again, Xavier, Chovy and I headed out to continue our 5 and counting pub crawl at about 3am, only to be surprised to see everything was closing or closed! That is except the alcohol-free bars that were open with red lights in the windows, so we beelined it back to the pub for another few rounds before they closed up too. Come the end, we hit up the Dutch tradition of Chippies, drowned in Mayonnaise- And I mean seiously Drowned, Harold Holt style- grabbed a few roadies and headed back to the hostel for a 5am game of pool.Following a decent hangover, I checked my emails, had a small happy dance when I saw "Notice of booking cancellation" on our Amsterdam to London flight I put on my credit card, then sobered up enough to realise it wasnt actually a good thing. Saying goodbyes, we bolted to the airport and re-arranged our tickets. Luckily there were free seats and we were booked onto the next flight and 5 hours later, on our way to our final overnight stop of our holiday. Im still not sure whether to be stoked or upset... Im looking forward to seeing all the mates, my car and everything familiar so much I just cant wait, but there are some huge perks of travelling I just cant ignore. Mainly: I wake up (stampeding triceratops managers excluded) whenever I want, I have no idea what day or date it is, and the idea of being completely lost in somewhere I have no idea about is so awesome I have "accidentally" throw out maps.
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