Prague

Imagine a little kid banging on a toy keyboard and a professional cello player trying to keep a melody with him- Thats pretty much how last night sounded for the most part. We were looking at heading in to the Paranormal Pub Crawl of Prague, but Lyn was running low on cash and didn't want to hit an ATM so we opted for the cheaper night out- A night at one of the 30 odd Church/Opera House/Theaters that put on a performance every night. We wandered around for a while checking out the weaving cobblestone streets in Prague I, the touristy area and settled on the place Lyn was after since we got into town when we stumbled into it in a dead quiet corner of town. It was pretty funny going in there- The average age of the audience was about 120. I think there was a zimmer frame parking lot next to the cloak room judging from the speed these guys came and left the auditorium for intermission. The first song was Bach's early works and I can only say I'm glad he improved. It sounded like when our cats run across the higher octaves of the piano, backed up by a cello player that was spasming while looking for timing and a melody. From there it improved out of sight though as they went through later Bach then the locally brewed Dvorak. I still find it confusing to applaud these performers- apparently theres no applause in between pieces, its just in between performances. Cant tell the difference? Just follow the crowd.


We sure made up for any lack of applause during their 3 encores where I thought all the oldies had simultaneous convulsions and started clapping for 3 minutes solid- nope. Its the old "They come back for 3 encores, and you have to clap them off the stage, while they are off, when they come back for another bow, as they leave and then until they come back to their instruments to play again". From thrash metal bands to Classical duets they all play the same game, and the crowd still pretends to be surprised. I would have enjoyed it more if they just took a page from the Country scene and threw some gigantic inflatable balls around in the crowd. Call it physio for the oldies. After we hit a pub for a cheeky pint and as we had a 7am start the next day I could only laugh when it was me saying we need to leave the pub and go back to the hotel, and Lyn was the one that wanted to stay! Talk about role reversal- next up, me wearing a scarf, tea cosy on my head and gloves.

Actually That's probably not far away now- I shaved the beard off when Lyn got a haircut (something to do with changing our appearance after riding Czech trains for 3 days without buying tickets) and now Im feeling the cold.

We did all the Prague highlights- Old town square, surrounded by Cathedrals hundreds of years old (all adorned with gargoyles too protect them haha), The Jewish quarter where space is at such a premium people are buried 8 deep and because of the density of the headstones you can no longer walk through it, The Charles bridge that was decorated with the heads of 8 men until a little too recently, The castle and little Venice with its river that, translated to english, means Little Devil Woman and a list of others. The gothic architecture is all over the place, from Jewish Synagogues, Catholic Churches, Castles and peoples houses. Its about as common as Absinthe shops! Speaking of which- The bottle of absinthe I imported is cheaper than the stuff they sell here! I still don't know how that works, given beers are $2 AUD for a pint of the local Urqell Pilsner.


We also checked out the Torture museum on the last day. Wow. Again, in the same theme of the Colosseum and bull fighting it really makes me wonder what kind of people thought of these contraptions and how sick the general public was to watch, cheer and encourage it. There was so many things to cause slow deaths you could see someone put alot of time and though into each. Charges worthy of torture started at treason and treachery and came to things as trivial as "acts against decency", wearing provocative clothing, and my favourite: causing a storm. WTF? Of the more painful displays, there was a spike people were straddled on, then weights added to their legs and candles put under their feet- the only humane bit was it was stopped when they passed out from pain, only to be put back on when they came to. There was a block of wood screwed into the back of a head held in a vice until brain tissue came out the nose, and a "double cut" where a person was hung upside down and halved by a wood saw- hanging them upside down also made the blood rush to the head to keep them alive longer. How any person could watch this stuff in a public square and cheer it on blows me away, and hearing some of these contraptions are still in use is just disturbing.

After the 7am start the next day we cashed in on the buffet breakfast. This place is weird- its a 3 star youth hostel hotel. The breakfast has been everything you can think of for brekkie, plus hot dogs, gnocchi, sago, fried rice, vegies, soups, sauerkraut... Needless to say our backpacks just gained a few kilos in bread rolls, spreads, cheeses and the old sausage-spewing-dracula meat paste. We got to the traino with 8 minutes to spare before we missed our train, found a seat and now its full steam ahead to Cesky Krumlov. The trains look pretty cool- I reckon they look camouflaged too as we wind through hillside forests next to small villages. As its hitting autumn here the trees are all starting the turn from Green to the entire red spectrum, which is funny because its the same range of colours as the rust that covers the rooves and sneaks down the sides of the carriages. As we waited at the Prague station to take off we were rocked to sleep by the cascading sounds of a waterfall... oh its the station- must just be the toilet pipe that dumps straight on the ground under us. I spare a thought for all the train mechanics- At least I know when I work under my car its just mud splattered in there!