MS Melodie on the Nile

Well we made the train- finally. The cairo peak hour (We are told cairo has 24 peak hours a day) at 9pm started its traffic jam 20km outside of town. We just parked up on the road and seemed to roll forwards every now and then. If it wasnt for the "skills" of our driver cutting off a rushing ambulance and using them to clear us a path, we probably would have missed that train. I feel for the ambo drivers here- the .regular drivers are pricks. Someone puts an indicator on to change lanes (which is polite and unheard of) and the other cars around block all gaps, honk their horn and flash high beams consistently at the person that needs to change lanes. I totally understand why I saw another ambo driving the wrong way up a 3 lane dual carriage way now.

The sleeper train was pretty cool.. it was as nice as the Spain one, but this time we had first class, so the beds were about half a foot longer so I didnt have to do the foetal position all night long and there were only 2 people per room. We also got served up a dinner that our tour leader said we shouldnt touch. haha! Me and lynda have finely tuned noses for salmonella-free food, and this passed with flying colours- aka it didnt smell like socks so we got stuck into it. I think we won the lotto that night because over the next few days it seems most other people copped something that confined them to a small round porcelain bowl for a day or two but we were in the clear. After dinner and a $10 AUD mini can of beer in the smoke choked club car, I retired back to our room which my laptop had now turned into a cinema entertaining half our tour group and later crashed out for the night, rocked to sleep by the shuddering trainlines, listening to the lullaby of metal on metal grinding brake discs.

The next morning I remembered to dodge the oranges for breakfast after seeing part of my tour group using them as breast implants while belly dancing in the club car... I guess egyptian wine does different things to people. We rolled into the station, packed our bags and set off through Luxor to our home for the next 6 nights: The MS Melodie. Its a 4-storey cruise boat with a sundeck and splash pool ontop, licensed for about 150 people and pretty nice inside - ie: It has a bar. We got stuck into sight seeing in Luxor straight away and hopped onto horse-drawn carriages to head to the nearby temple of Karnak. This palace is huge, being progressively built over 2000 years and is still well impressive- alot of the columns are in great condition, covered in heiroglyphics and some still with paint on after 2000 years! The place had been used as a Coptic cathedral after Ra the sun god lost his appeal, and it was a shame to see stuff like egyptian goods chiseled off the walls, and cheesy stencils of jesus on there, and one of the worse bits: A huge statue of a Osiris annd Cleopatra had been smashed into the shape of the crucafix to suit the latter occupiers of the cathedral. The thing that most impressed me: a 350 tonne obelisk covered in etchings balancing on its stone foundations, towering over everything else around it. How the hell you move, shape and erect a solid piece of granite that damn heavy without a 500 tonne crane is incredible. Still to this day no one knows how it got up there.

That night we set off on the Melodie- I can definately get into the cruise lifestyle. Booze is on credit, so it seems freee! (for now) you laze around all day, eat food and just kick back. When we eventually pulled into Edfu, we did the 10 minute tour of town and most people headed back to crash out on the boat. Me and Lyn, in keeping with being the last ones to bed each night went for a bit more of a walk and a shop. After being shouted a few mmint teas by local vendors we set off to find a cheaper option for the 12 pound beers on the boat. The night before we picked up a bunch foor 6 Pound each, so I figured it was a safe bet- At the only place I found that had alcohol in their beers, I was told 25 pound each. I told the bloke how much I'd pay and he yelled I was crazy and laughed me out of his store haha.

A short walk up the road we had a win though with a qualified lawyer that spoke 5 languages- He sent his younger brother up the road to get them for us while we chillaxed in his shop, had a tea and he tried to convert us to islam. He gave me a laugh when he got on his soapbox about being devout, avoiding all vices and obeying the qaran. His younger brother pointed out he maybe shouldnt be smoking hash while telling us he is so pure, but as we have learned hashish is considered in a loose way to be acceptible as its alcohol that is the evil thing that brings shame to you and your family, and hash is widely accepted. Speaking with other people its the same- If they were caught with beer at home or booze on their breath, its a boot up the arse. If they are smoking hash, well so what- its only hash! Contrast to western society hey. Back on the boat at 2am I stashed my smuggled on booze and crashed out. The day before I had been warned by the captain if you bring booze onboard its a 50 Pound corkage fee no matter what it is. He told me this when he saw my Ouzo getting dished out and he got all worked up but I got off the charge when I told him it was my birthday. Scam! He disappeared after that, then came back with boxes of chips to celebrate! Thats my 3rd day of birthday celebrations.

After another day of chill out on the boat we hit another temple, Kom Ombo and had a run through there. Egyptians continue to amaze me- They founded the cesarian, created the first antiseptic, paper, carried out the first brain surgery... This temple was a tribute to their health knowlegde and surgery skills and showcased their surgical tools, skills and procedures here. As we have learned, there were not so much libraries to pass on knowledge, but more artists employed to carve relief on the walls to pass on the learned skills. I can only guess how many floods wiped out their archives before they caught onto that stuff. I reckon it explains their national project of "Archiving the internet" Seriously... Thats like trying to make a zoo with every living organism in it. Its about as realistic as a stairway to heaven and if its ever completed, will be as useful as Meeting Minutes from your local lumberjacks' association.

After we saw the sun sink into the palm trees over the nile we started to get fired up for the next event- The Galabea party. Basically everyone gets in their egyptian get up and theres a traditional meal and belly dancing and stuff. It was pretty good- A great laugh and those remaining beers from Edfu went down a treat without "Bob the builder" the skipper with eyes in the back of his head catching on. After another great feed, a bunch of games and festivities including the last of my ouzo, me and Lyn found ourselves the last of the other 150 odd people on board to be awake so fired up alien Vs Predator with some of the crew after I had a hazy encounter with our tour leader on the deck of the boat. I learned a new game on par with mud wrestling tonight as well- Its musical chairs, but with spoons not chairs, and get people to play it after a fair few drinks in belly dancing outfits. All the spectators were rolling around laughing when the girls started wrestling on the dance floor over a spoon. Im stoked to say though, my team nailed it and came home with the goods- the others just got bruises.