Lynda was the only person that managed to floor her donkey though- It stopped for the ol juicy juicy green grass and it got cleaned up by another bloke so well that it went straight down in a spectacular show. I would have got some snaps of it, but we were only passengers and had as much control over these things as the police have over the local traffic. The little horses were pretty fun though, aside from their desire to try and take your knees out passing parked cars, poles, pillars, kerbs and anything else that they can find. I got T-Boned a good 20 times and crashed into other peoples donkeys just as many times but it was awesome. It was like mx riding, bumper cars and a comedy show all in one. On the way back they got into full gallop and I had to struggle to stay on top I was laughing that hard. To top it off, we passed a local farmer heading the other direction that had corn stacked a metre or 2 tall on top of his donkey. Our group of donkeys just made a beeline straight for him and his crop and mauled it! In a flash of grey fur and green stalks, there was corn, donkey heads and people all over the shop. This local had no idea what was going on and most of our group were helpless passengers as our beasts smashed through this guys daily harvest tugging him all directions as they ripped leaves off him.
On getting to the valley of the kings it was pretty busy and hot. We had set off at 5am, but by the time we got there it was packed out with tourists. We walked up to the tombs and got a run through of the area and its history by our local guide Mustafa. Unfortunately, most of us were walking zombies after only a few hours sleep the night before, so as I fell asleep standing up, wobbling around in concentric circles I dreamed of a comfy bed while Mustafa gave a run through of the tomb carvers from the Deir El Medina and the history of the tombs. The tombs themselves were interesting, carved into the sides of a limestone valley, with a thin plastering over the interior walls and colourful hieroglyphics carved into this. There were signs all about that said do not take photos, and I was about to ignore them until I saw a bloke in a Jalaba in the corner staring people down. The french chick behind me didn't see him though, but did after her flash went off and he ran to her yelling and trying to take her camera with her protesting loudly then pushed her out the exit. Funny. After she managed to get out of that one though she insisted on poking the fenced off walls of the tomb which set the bloke off again... Frenchies!
Luxor has been an eye opener in a few ways. Its pretty much made up of Nubian people- they are one of the many cultures of people that rely on the Nile for their survival and income. The city itself is the common mix of grand looking cheaply made facades, neons and tourist shops on main roads, and back streets populated by markets on broken ground with dim lighting and cheaper produce. Scattered in between are street vendors, herds of horses with carts and groups of locals wondering where to hang out seeing as theres no pubs about. On the main esplanade there is teams of salesmen spruiking their goods- Peanuts, Cigarettes, feluca (sail boat) rides, water taxis, horse carriages and souvenirs. Its not uncommon to get chased up a street for 500m while they try and flog you something you are not after. At one stage me and Lyn walked all the way from our ship to the Internet cafe while a bloke tried for all he was worth to sell us a horse and cart ride to where we were going. Its a funny sight- as soon as you step off the boat, people are doing cat-calls for you, all you can hear is spriukers yelling at you from the street and even after you make it past them, every taxi that passes you by honks at you as advertising. Next to the dock where we were one of 50 ships, there are flashing neon NO HORN signs. I cracked a grin when a taxi sat on the horn as he overtook a police car on the wrong side of the road right next to the sign.
The night before was a Galabea party on the cruise ship. We got into full dress again - both blokes and chicks, and the ship put a few entertainers on. The first up was "stick dancers" yep- exotic name that seems to have an air of mystery around it right? Yeah- they were two blokes that spun a stick while they pranced on the dance floor. At least Charlie chaplain had a hat! I was more impressed by the Sophie dancer- This guy spun around for about 25 minutes solid at top speed doing stuff- blindfolded, with objects, with his dress over his head... I know me and mates have tried the old spinning round party trick after a few quiet beers, and I have found I can get to about 30 seconds of spinning before "someone" runs sideways, bounces off the sofa and smashes a new CD stereo. This guy stopped after 20 minutes and managed to throw and catch things and there was no furniture bashing or smashing involved anywhere. I wish I could say the same for the belly dancers- the one that came out first was pretty good. The second one people called a beer belly dancer, and most people agreed there had to be cast iron reinforcing in her bra- its strength put roman arches to shame. I think my eyes melted a little. After the party I caught up with our captain who really seems to enjoy saying my name and had a local smoke with him in the crew area. I now understand why the ship performs maneuvers so slowly. "Dude... seen my cruise ship keys? oh wait- the boats already running". Again the last to bed in the ship, I left the captain and Waleed to sort out munchies and I crashed out for my 3 hours sleep.That morning we went into the Edfu temple on the Nile to see the place. Its definitely been the best condition temple we have seen so far- Huge detail in all the hieroglyphics, staues and all that. The entire road there was awash with 4 person horse carriages that choked every street, car park, checkpoint and intersection in town. As our bus driver snaked at speed around blind corners to weave between the jingling horses and their bling carriages, I was grateful the nutcase bus drivers back home are those that just talk to themselves, get you to try and repair midnight buses or sing out loud to no music, and not like this looney that has almost halved the horse population in Egypt in just one morning. Inside the huge temple- the second biggest in Egypt, the carvings in the walls are all 3D, and have everything in perfect detail- correct muscles tense for different movements, perfect proportion of the subjects and intricate detail on each thing. I only wish I could read ancient egyptian so I could get some of those recipes on the recipe wall. The temple was built by a pharoah that married his enemy and war opponent of 10 years' daughter. She was a Nubian, whose race has given me a laugh. eg: They are only allowed to marry within their family to keep their blood lines pure. Pure what... incest and genetic deformaties? I am told it is because of their overwhelming population that Efud and Aswan have achieved the status of "Dumbest cities in Egypt". Within 15 minutes of being in the city, we saw an excel hold up traffic to drag race a motorcycle then almost kill the rider, and a new Mercedes reversing up the main street, through a roundabout and set of red lights while buses, peak hour traffic and horse and carts dodged him in another familiar chorus of horns.
The night before I had round two of bartering with shop owners in Efud. I took my sandals back to get fixed after they broke at the first Jalaba party, and hit the shop I got them from to get some repairs. I told the guy I'd be back in an hour and took off to watch Waleed in a game of indoor soccer on an outdoor pitch. When I headed back to get the sandals, Waleed came with me and took charge of the situation before I even got a word out. Within a minute, the owner was yelling, Waleed was yelling, sandals were waving and Im standing there with no idea what is happening. I have now learned that "Thong" is Australian for "Flip Flop" which is English for the arabic "Ship Shape". I know this because between when the 3 tourist police got involved in the argument, I heard "Ship Shape" get yelled a few thousand times. Come the end of it all, it was 2am and we returned my original sandals for a woman's Abaya, took the abaya across town and changed it for a new set of sandals. The sandals are 5 sizes too small for me, but both me and Waleed had had enough of it all so just took our consolation prize to leve them for our beds and a few hours sleep before our 4:30am start.
The morning involved a trip to Abu Simbal which is 250km and 5 security checkpoints out of Aswan in Egypts south- That place is impressive! After building a the "High dam" in the Nile 111m tall, The river started rising and the people discovered when a water level rises 111m, some things that were not under water before now become very historical fish tank ornaments. This posed problems for the 100,000 odd nubian people in a nearby village, not to mention all the other historical stuff around that is now more than a little wet. One such thing- The temples of Abu Simbal. They were moved under the orders of UNESCO in 1961 to a location 60m higher, and this was done by basically relocating the entire hill they were carved out of and reconstructing it piece by piece at a higher level 200m away. To see the efforts they went to is amazing, and to know the entire 2 hills that these things form were cut into pieces and reformed is crazy! We heard the story of an Italian bloke that discovered them originally and spent 3-4 years camped out in the 1800's manually digging sand out by hand to try and rob the tombs. Unfortunately they were bare, but the egyptian government thanks you coz now they dont need to hire archaeologists to do a dig. On arriving to Abu Simbal we noticed there were about 7 Egyptian Eagles circling over the tombs which looked pretty cool and was pretty coincidental- all the tombs have black eagle wings spread across their ceilings as symbols of protection. For the trip in, as cool as "Armed convoy" sounds, I found it a bit of a let down. Our version of the armed convoy involved us, a bus of half asleep tourists, with one heavily armed passed out bloke sitting behind the driver. I have no idea where the "convoy" part came from- There was just us and the mirages for most of that 250km trip. The whole bus had a nervous laugh when we returned from the temple back to the coach and the guard just pulled his AK-47 off the luggage rack. Im wondering though- Every copper and guard here seems to have a different gun. I was trying to figure out if the guns were just like a "show and tell" item that you bring and try and out do your workmates with, or if they were the harvest of our last gun buy-back scheme, exported to Egypt. I later found it is the former- You can bring in to work whatever gun you want. Maybe they accessorise by matching magazines with their shoes or something.Its sad to be leaving the cruise ship- It has been a huge highlight soo far- no need to repack the backpack every other day and move rooms just topped it off. The beers have been frosty, easy to get and cheap, and the food and staff onboard were great. The captain that ccant really speak english too well twisted my arm into trying a shisha- its basically a huge bong for smoking flavoured tobacco. I had no idea these things had a legitimate purpose! I tried apple which was bizarre- the smoke was quite weak compared to a cigarette and had an aniseed and fruity taste. After 30 minutes and it was still going strong, Im told my eyes were as red as the coals firing the tobacco kiln I was stoking. Back to the boat, over the week I lost count how many times I went up to the splash pool up on the sun deck and lazed about with a cold brew. Actually I was reminded this morning when I went to settle my bar tab- 12 pounds per half litre bottle of Stella, and the bill got to 624 pounds which is pretty reasonable, and I know the old smuggled onboard roadies helped keep that cheap too.
As we weave our way through barren desert highways flanked by scattered hills of granite and sand I cant wipe the grin from my face- This afternoon I have organised for a quad bike ride- 5 hours/25km on quads, then a camel ride to a sunset dinner for about $60 AUD. I have gone the last 2 months without any motor sports and Im going insane- No, 4-wheeling in a hire car doesnt count, its expected. Im pretty sure I have been changing gears in my sleep while making turbo noises as withdrawl symptoms. If I break a leg and have to suffer through another arduous hour atop a camel enroute to some hospital, Ill still have a smile on my dial. Well, that is until I have to deal with the insurance company again- Im still waiting on word to see if my camera stolen 2 months ago is covered. Maybe I should go easy on them- Theres a good chance the Carrier pigeon from Morocco that had my claim forms could have contracted bird flu. Actually the chances it got eaten are pretty good too- Here they have large elaborate tall domes attached to houses that I assumed were fish smokers... nope. They are pigeon houses to house family dinners before they hit the oven.
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